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& you & me & time & space

the next chapter's this way

National Coming Out Day
default [trufflehog]
such_heights
National Coming Out Day is actually marked in the UK tomorrow, but for most of the world it's today. Besides, it's past midnight, so let's go.

Coming out is complicated, and it's also never-ending, as rm talks about here.

I am always reluctant to buy into the idea of coming out as some kind of obligation, because I don't believe it's an absolute good. I have benefited enormously from everyone in my life and everyone in the public eye who has spoken openly about their sexuality, but none of them owed that to me. Being out is important to me in my personal life and in my relationships with my parents and my friends, but it's not like that for everyone.

I'm not just out in my personal life, though, I'm also out in my public life, such as it is. And every single time I come out - in a conversation with an acquaintance, in an introduction at a meeting - it's careful, it's calculated. It's never without risk.

I'm lucky. The risks I take are small ones, when compared to the horrible consequences of being openly queer that continue to face many today. My consequences are the loss of potential friendships, strange looks, insults. Often, I am taken less seriously when it comes to LGBT issues - after all, as a member of the group in question I must be 'over-emotional' and 'lack perspective'. You know how the story goes.

Small risks, small consequences, by and large. But they build and build over time, and it's not okay. I take those risks, it's my choice. I don't believe that makes me better than someone who makes a different choice.

Ultimately, it's about our selves, our truths, and we owe that to no one. Because the truth is that whether we are out or not, we are everywhere. We are your bosses and your doctors and your teachers, your friends, your relatives, your neighbours. And we're not just gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender either - we are queer, androgynous, intersex, pansexual, genderqueer, asexual, poly, kinky, so many things. That list will never be exhaustive. We are more than labels can ever capture. That's our truth, and no one has the power to take that away from any of us.

My name's Amy; I'm gay. I stand up and say that openly, again and again, because I can, because I want to, and because my risks are small. I say it because I hope that sometimes time and place will converge so that my words can help someone else, just like others' words helped me.

I say it because it's my truth. Treat it as such. It's never without risk.


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raise it up
default [trufflehog]
such_heights
Ahahahaha, oh man. I need to stop this unscheduled three hours napping! I will be awake half the night catching up on all the laundry and email-answering and homework I should have done at a sensible hour. *facepalm*

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Further reading for Coming Out Day:
There's no big moment where you scream "By all the gods on Olympus, I'm queer!" or something to that effect, and the whole world hears it and treats you accordingly. Every person you meet is someone else who has absolutely no idea, unless you meet them in the context of being queer in some way. People make assumptions, and coming out is jut as much about correcting assumptions as it is about expressing yourself.

-- National Coming Out Day, [info - personal] iambickilometer

here's my deal: I don't believe in coming out. I don't believe that I should have to. I hate the idea that queerness has to be announced - and therefore that heteronormativity is assumed/default. I hate the idea that being any kind of queer is like giving someone a surprise party, where you jump up out of a darkened space and then they say, wow, I didn't expect that! I hate it. I like to say: I don't believe in coming out - I believe in being out.

-- so, it's national coming out day?, [info - personal] thingswithwings

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Recs:

those isles of yours that wait for me by siriaeve [SGA/Firefly fusion, Teyla/Zoe, PG-13]

The world is now a better place because this pairing exists, for real.

Club Wales by pocky_slash [Torchwood, Ianto, Gwen, PG-13]

This is long (19k!) and absolutely wonderful. I fell in love with the characters all over again and it's a beautiful look at Gwen and Ianto's friendship.

How Ianto Jones Quits His Job and Decides to Take Over the World (Without the Help of a Kangaroo Army) by sparky77 [Torchwood/SPN/Leverage, Dean/Alec/Ianto and combinations, PG]

The crack is strong with this one! It's glorious.

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We are laying down some anon love? I'm down with that.

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I'm SO WIRED, you guys. I will never sleep again! :D :D :D

... D:


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