Amy (such_heights) wrote,

FIC: Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures
Torchwood ; Jack, Gwen, Ianto ; G ; 700 words ; gen and silliness
"We tried everything, Jack," Gwen said mournfully. "I'm sorry."

written for redismycolour's day ten prompt

"Do you think it was a targeted attack?"

"I don't think we can rule anything out at this juncture."

Gwen and Ianto's voices drifted up to Jack's office, and as soon as their meaning sunk in he leapt up, racing downstairs. Below, both of them were standing very still, looking very concerned.

"What? What's going on?"

"You'll have to see this for yourself," said Ianto.

Jack moved to their position, and his jaw dropped, murmuring a string of curses in an alien tongue.

"Is it --" He hardly dared to ask.

"Completely wrecked," said Ianto. "I'm afraid so."

"And you've --"

"We tried everything, Jack," Gwen said mournfully. "I'm sorry."

It was a horrible sight. Ripped apart with its shredded innards exposed for all the world to see and sparks still flying out half-heartedly, the remains of their coffee machine, and its implications, would strike despair into the heart of anyone.

"What happened?"

"It just sort of -- exploded," said Ianto.

"Well, this is a disaster," Jack said, in the tones of the eternally damned. "It's barely even eleven o'clock."

Ianto waved a scanner with purpose. "I'll make this my top priority."

"See that you do," Jack said, sweeping off again. "And remember: reverting to instant is simply not an option."

"Understood!" Ianto yelled as Jack disappeared.

The first three hours were fine, although Jack was a little fractious during his conference call with the heads of UNIT's various and sundry international branches. Mind you, he was always a little fractious on conference calls.

When Gwen came in just after four, she looked distinctly frazzled. "Mission reports," she said tersely. "Just . . . sign at the bottom, pretend like you've read them."

"Sure. How you holding up?"

"I --" She ran a palm down her face, then laughed. "This is pathetic. We are really, really sad and dependant."

"We'd better keep this under wraps," said Jack. "Wouldn't do for the alien hordes to find out our weak spot."

Gwen shook her head, looking a mix of amused and deeply concerned that seemed pretty apt.

Ianto appeared at the doorway, carrying a tray of mugs.

Gwen beamed. "You fixed it!"

"Well, not exactly."

Jack took the proffered mug suspiciously. "Then what is this?"

"Try it with an open mind," Ianto said.

Gwen took a sip. "Oh, Ianto, that's lovely."

Ianto inclined his head, smiling.

Jack caught a whiff of the concoction he was holding. "Wait, is this cocoa?"

"Amongst other things."

"That's an . . . interesting response to caffeine withdrawal. You sure your suffering isn't affecting your mental capabilities?" Jack asked.

Ianto didn't bother to answer, folding his arms until Jack drank.

"Huh," Jack said, considering, as the taste swirled around his mouth and down his throat. Warm, rich, a little bitter, a little sweet. "That's-- wow, that's actually pretty good."

"There we are then. Our troops battle on another day," Ianto said.

"Mmm," Jack agreed, feeling revived. "Good work, but I still want that machine fixed."

"Believe me, so do I. It feels like I'm missing a limb or something equally preposterous," said Ianto.

"Hey, you know, this really needs some whipped cream on the top or something."

"Yeah," said Gwen. "Or a couple of those little flakes."

Ianto made a disgruntled noise. "Not that either of you are demanding or anything."

"No no," said Jack.

"Of course not," said Gwen.

"Anyway - all right if I go do some proper work for a little while?"

Jack nodded. "Go forth, do as you wish. Just have more of this ready on demand, won't you."

"There's more already on standby," Ianto assured him, taking his leave.

Gwen followed after him. "Ianto?"


"This --" She drained her mug. "That had coffee in it, didn't it?'

"Yes, it did. He'll be a nightmare otherwise, as well you know."

"That would be instant coffee, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, it would."

Gwen looked impressed. "You just slipped instant right into the arms of our beloved leader and he didn't even notice."

Ianto nodded.

Gwen grinned. "Well played, my friend. Well played."
Tags: character: captain jack harkness, character: gwen cooper, character: ianto jones, fandom: torchwood, fic, fic: torchwood
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