PG, 700 words
Remus/Sirius, Remus/Tonks [yes, really]
Warnings: Well, if you cannot abide reading anything involving Remus and Tonks together, perhaps best to steer clear. But it's not all sunshine and bunnies by any means, so hopefully you can bring yourself to read it.
Summary: The muddled thoughts of Remus Lupin, after the end
Perhaps he is lord of the manor; perhaps he is king of his domain. Perhaps he owns nothing at all, but all Remus knows that today is a good day. The rain has stopped; everything has stopped.
Sirius strolls in whistling and drags Remus over to show him the new flat he’s found. Isn’t that rather big for one? Yes, but just right for two.
And he wanders through the fields of childhood, which are now to be the fields of the rest of his life, and he isn’t lonely any more.
He used to fit his life into boxes. Once, there was Before, and there was After. And then another After appeared, something he’d never hoped for, never dreamed of. And then a veil marked out the end of the next compartment of his existence, and he floated on into the next section, although given a choice he would have simply turned back.
He and Harry sit and play chess, though the game is more of mutual understanding. It’s not a crime to let life go on, Harry. Isn’t it?
Then there was an End, to something greater than himself. And perhaps if he’d been younger, he would have drawn a curtain over everything that fell Before, and so started not just a new chapter, but an entirely new book.
But suddenly he found that there are still people he doesn’t want to lose. A generation had risen out of the war, and this time they were alive and whole and free. And because life has taught Remus an awful lot, he grudges them nothing, just smiles as he attends weddings, pleased that they still insist he come.
Remus, come on, be in this photo! Oh, I’m sure you don’t want my grey hairs spoiling all your youthful good looks. Don’t be silly, come on, just stand here...
Which one was that? It’s become less of a blur and more of a whirlwind in his mind – confetti and a thousand blinding camera bulbs. Especially for Harry’s wedding, once he stopped having the heart to turn everyone away.
Lily throws her arms around James and looks over to Remus. And when are you going to get yourself hitched, hmm? Sirius fits his hand into Remus’. We should tell her sometime, shouldn’t we?
Who said that? Oh, he can’t remember, and he supposes that it doesn’t really matter now, though there are many modern day Lilys to ask him the same question. And sometimes, a hand still slips into his, and a voice answers for him, usually a We’ll See or Maybe One Of These Days.
Yes, maybe one of these days. Most of the time, he never really thought about that. Except now there is a She, above all other myriad women in his life –- and yet She still retreats and bows down to the firmament that is He. He is a stronger word, not softened by the sh of lullabies and gentle murmurs, He is vivid and alive even though He is dead. Remus has tried to explain this, but She doesn’t understand what all this talk of pronouns has to do with anything, and Remus knows he pays too much attention to the syntax of things.
Remus, put that book down for one second and pay attention! What is it, Sirius?
He doesn’t know, doesn’t remember.
For Sirius lived and Sirius died and sometimes Remus forgets, but mostly he remembers, and so he drifts and time twists and these days life is good.
And that is mostly what he remembers – that life goes on, and he’s not alone, and it’s all rather beautiful. The rain has lifted – had he noticed that before? -, leaving a rainbow catching at the horizon and reflecting in the raindrops.
They always loved the springtime, didn’t they? Yes, he’s sure they did. They used to hate being cooped up inside, even at school. Idly, he wonders how on earth they used to make the hours go so fast.
Look, the sun’s out! Ha, I love the rain – when it stops, at least. Come on Remus, let’s go--